Journal Entry 50413:  Weakness

Recently, I've been feeling the all too familiar signs of my own weakness and capabilities, especially when being faced with serious life uncertainties that prevail in this life. For instance, fear of loss to death, financial security, and health. I call them the "The Big 3".  The looming sense of fear can be consuming and propel the mind and senses to go overboard and lead to overload. This sometimes gives us a feeling of short circuiting oneself where functioning even in the little things become overwhelming. Even the smallest everyday activities become burdensome. I've been there and it's not good. When we function in this state too long it somehow has this seeping ability to manifest itself in us physically all the while starting off in the mind before we catch its destructive process that can lead worse ailments like depression and hopelessness. Not having control of these elements in life is disconcerting, especially when were taught to have mind over matter attitudes. Sympathy is not found very often and a self pity starts to take over. We crave that control of our lives but alas we are realists and know intuitively we don't have it and we never will on our own efforts. Yes, there are band aids for things like medications that help to alleviate symptoms and ward off the inevitable. There are plenty of health food ideas and fitness programs to help us live with a sense that we are fit and healthy, for the time being anyways. Who knows what tomorrow brings right? Well, one thing I've learned and yes it is always the hard way with me, we can know what tomorrow brings and we can be strong in our weaknesses. Letting go of the idea that I need to make it better is one way and the other is in a more solid and trusting relationship that is larger than myself. Having faith and knowing that Christ died to give us life more abundantly is a very strong motivator for trusting it will be taken care not just how we think it will or should be taken care of but more perfectly then we imagined. Knowing I'm looked after with a love greater than I could ever receive anywhere else is truly amazing. Hoping all will be better but resting in the assurance that He is with me the whole way through. That God works all things out for those who love Him. I'm reminded in His word as a promise to me in 1 Corinthians 12:9 But He said unto me  "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest upon me. I have the beauty of His peace right now when I ask for it. As surely as I breathe that kind of power can only come from Him. But first we must hand it over and leave it there. We must resist the temptation to take it back and try again in our own strength. God is patient but also loving, full of compassion and mercy. I need to remember this always, through the good and the bad in life.